The word today is 'GRAVE': dictionary.com
Looking for a challenge? Write a Loony Letter to the person of your choice (real or fictional - dead or alive) and post it under 'comments'.
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Dear Monsieur Sommelier
ReplyDeleteI do take and value your recommendations. However, the last bottle of Graves you served me here, did not have the depth of flavours and textures which I am used to. I do not wish to experience shallow Graves - can I expect a better experience next time?
Sincerely
Tidd
Dear Graves,
ReplyDeleteConvention provokes me to thank you for sending an advance copy of The White Goddess. I shall endeavour to avoid reading it. You well know of my grave concerns over your obsession with ancient mythology and I cannot interpret this "gift" in any other way than as a joke. No doubt you thought it acute. Allow me to say I find it the complete opposite. My old friend, your dear father, must be rotating in his – gr – tomb.
The additional engravings showing your excavations at Knossos and elsewhere in your pursuit of the "truth" – as you call it – about Homer's identity are, I suppose, a part and parcel of the same. I find it in gravely poor taste. Rest assured, my profound love for the work of that noble bard will never be undermined by your snide suggestions that he was in fact a woman. A woman! A gravid woman! Whatever next?
As I have taken the trouble to dig out a pen to put to paper at last, let me conclude by telling you how disappointed I was at your most unpatriotic account of the war. Good Bye to All That was a disgrace. Comparing the trenches where our noble lads fought to so many open graves for lost youth struck this reader as tantamount to high treason. Further, I was recently obliged to listen to a gravel-voiced recitation of one of your war poems – "Sergeant-Major Money" I believe you called it – and I would like to point out that the third verse does not scan. Shoddy work, Graves. Shoddy.
I remain ever your father's old friend, if not yours,
Sexton Gravenhage
Dear Mr. Cruise
ReplyDeleteI'm writing to let you know that I'm the one soul who understands how stressful your life really is. Who could possible step up in Peter Graves' shoes? That's Mission Impossible all right!
I'm grateful that you didn't deem it necessary to prove yourself worthy of a remake of 'Airplane'and shot instead for a Vanilla Sky. I might well have jumped the couch, had you made that grave decision.
I would recommend yoga, dear sir, for your daily ups and downs.It will be Knight and Day, you'll see.
Rest-pectfully Yours,
Nick ImonliKIDdingMAN
Dear Liz:
ReplyDeleteYou shall be joining your BFF Michael , what a
welcome party that must be.
Your beauty is incomparable & your oeuvre is outstanding & astounding.
May you rest in peace.
Prayers from an admirer.
ME
Dear Mr Reagan,
ReplyDeletePlease excuse me while I dance on your grave.
Tootles,
David
Dear Mrs Thatcher
ReplyDeleteMay I reserve a dancing spot on your grave as and when ...?
And would it be in order to invite a few friends?
Cheers
Tidd