Thursday, January 20, 2011


The word today is 'MURDER':

Looking for a challenge? Thursday is for Nutty Newspapers: Come up with catchy newspaper headlines using today's word (and/or write brief news reports on this blog)

Keep all entries clean, creative, and courteous.
Enjoy the game!

PS: We welcome all suggestions and comments. Just go to the 'suggestions' page and let us know what you think. For information on how to play the game, please refer to the 'Be Loqwacious' page. Thank you.



    Murder Suspected, By Voter Or Voters Unknown

    Police are today questioning suspects over the foul murder of a tweet. Pathologist Art Wickolate believes the tweet was suffocated by depriving it of oxyvotes leading to a slow, lingering death.

    by our Crime Correspondent, Indy Roomorg

  2. Five sorry-looking black raggedy birds lay on their backs in the middle of a road. Nearby was a dead hedgehog. The hedgehog was dead because it had been poisoned. The birds had started feeding off the hedgehog, and died in their turn. The target was not the hedgehog. All along, it was the birds.

    Yes folks, it was a murder of crows ....

  3. Ant Jemima screams: 'MURDER'!

    It is now confirmed that a suspect is in custody for the destruction of a whole ant hill last night. The man -whose nickname is 'Oddly Starry' was looking at the full and golden moon when he accidentally rummaged through a sleeping house full of ants. Jemima's children Pan and Cake were killed inst-ant-ly.

    After a murder of crows, it is now the loss of huge community that our nation is mourning. All that we take for gr-ant-ed can disappear in a heartbeat.

    From our reporter Hotty Griddle.

  4. Novelist shunned.

    (Cabot Cove) Jessica Fletcher leads a lonely life. The once peaceful town shuns the 76-year old novelist.

    Eve Simpson, a local real estate agents, states, "Every time that old bat comes back from a book tour, someone in town is murdered. She is worse than a jinx - she's an omen of death and violence. We lost 2% of our population in the last seven years, but only when she's here. No one dies when she's away."

    Ms. Fletcher was unavailable for comment, but her nephew Grady Fletcher did comment,"Let her stay there. Every time she visits I am arrested for murder."

    From our reporter, Amos Vandersnot

  5. Oddly Starry Odd Indeed

    Oddly Starry is being held by police in connection with the murder of an entire ant hill. Interviewed in his tiny, barren jail cell, Oddly Starry declared his innocence.

    "I am innocent."

    When pressed for details, he said, "It's true that I was looking at the moon last night. Let's face it, who can resist a rising Full Wolf Moon? It was a beautiful golden color, and I was going to take some pictures. Remember: 'When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore'. Besides, I don't dislike ants. Why, one of my favorite objects in the night sky is the Ant Nebula! When I find an ant in my house, I escort it outside."

    When asked what happened to the ant hill, he replied, "It was probably a moon-hating, ant despiser who callously stepped on it. And I have my suspicions who it was. Let's just say that I saw a blue flower in the area last night."

    Police investigation continues.


    Things are escalating in the ant community. While Oddly Starry's suspicions are being investigated Ant Jemima has declared a complete ban on all blue amaryllis flowers.

    "I'm weary of the flower power", she admitted, "and I refuse to lose any more of my children to any distracted wanderer. This situation is no bed of roses and calls for the utmost attention.I've been an agony ant all day today and I don't like it."

    When asked how long the ban would remain effective, Ant Jemima refused to comment. Oddly Starry yelled from his prison cell: "That amaryllis was never true blue!I'm innoç-ant!!"

    The rumor has it that the famous Obi One YesIcan has been called to Oddly's rescue.

  7. Gossip Page by Mort Kola

    BLIND ITEM: What well-known novelist is winging her way a murder scene? Is she going to solve the case? Is she doing research on her next murder mystery? Nope, we here she looking for some starry-eyed loving.

  8. Novelist shunned (updated)

    (Cabot Cove) This just in - long-time resident and beloved local character Jessica Fletcher (79) is rumoured to have bought an airline ticket for London.

    Ms Flecther (73), a well-known writer of detective stories is reported to have taken the decision to "head east". She will be crossing the Atlantic to take up a post as writer-in-residence at the Causton College of Creative Writing.

    "The post is for one year, so Jessica (77) will soon be back!" Laughs local realtor and long-time friend Eve Simmson (68).

    Ms Simpsen (64) has used her connections in the property market to help find Ms Fletchr(73) a cottage home in the sleepy English village of Midsomer Worthy.

    Cabot Cove doctor Seth Hazlitt (94 and still practicing young man) opined: "Midsomer has no idea what's about to hit it. Jessica will shake those limeys out of their peaceful sleep!"

    Grady Feltcher (68), Miss Fletcher's nephew will be driving Jessica (74½) to the airport and local Sheriff Mort Metzger (25) will be providing a police escort. All in the spirit of making sure the State of Maine's favourite daughter makes her airplane on time.

    "We wouldn't want any murders to disrupt Jessica's travel plans, now would we," smiled Chief Meztger (52).

    "We're looking forward to twelve months of quiet," added the law officer. "Jessica seems to attract murder - well, she can attract it over there for a while."

    Jessica Fletchre (71¾) was unavailable for comment. "I'm not available for comment," she said. "But I will tell you this, young man. My house won't be empty, while I'm away. I have arranged for a house sitter. A very nice retired police inspector from Midsomer, Tom Barnaby (64) will be staying here while I'm over there. I warned him about all the murders, but it didn't seem to trouble him."

    From our doughty reporter, Amos Vandersnot (23)


    News that Jessica Fletcher, novelist (171), is to relocate to the county of Midsomer, Fictionshire, UK, has hit the remaining residents like a thunderbolt. Diminutive local chief inspector Tom Barnaby said "Heavens to Murgatroyd! Every time I'm on the case, there are multiple murders. There's only 5% of the population still extant. Now some Yank writer wants to come over here and provoke even more violent deaths? Enough is enough. I'm relocating to the BBC. Bring back Bergerac!"

    A BBC spokespersonbeing was unavailable for comment.

  10. FLASH UPDATE - Portland, Maine

    Grady Fletcher arrested for murder at the Portland. When opening up the trunk of his car to get his Aunt Jessica Fletcher (173.21) suitcase, the dead body of @OddlyStarry was found.

    Mort Metzger (45&12/18), sheriff of Cabot Cove, states, "The body was not in there when we put the suitcase in. It's a mystery."

    Mrs Fletcher has put off her trip indefinitely. She stated, "I can't leave with Grady in trouble."

    From our doughty reporter, Amos Vandersnot (π*3^2)

  11. AMOS VANDERSNOT(00.00) found dead in Midsomer!

    The doughty reporter's body was found in the library of the Causton College of Creative Writing. There Amos wrote his last word: "MURDER..."

    The funeral is delayed until an autopsy is performed. By all accounts it looks like poison from a bite from a suitcase made of snake skin. A piece of luggage very similar to the one found next to Oddly Starry.

    Tom Barnaby is hiding inside the BBC watching repeats and refuses to handle the case. "Get old Jessie to do it. I refuse to be the next corpse lying around. What next? Death by decapitation? I'm quitting while I'm ahead!"

    Inspector Gadget has been called but his blackberry is frozen.

  12. Flash News : Murderer Caught & Jailed

    After the robbery & murder, Mr. C0ltish couldn't help updating his facebook status and tweeting to his accomplish "done". He even took a snapshot of himself grinning using the victim's laptop.

    The incriminating evidence were used to track him down and put him in jail.

    Your Nutty Reporter.

  13. Take2 : Typo on accomplice

    Flash News : Murderer Caught & Jailed

    After the robbery & murder, Mr. C0ltish couldn't help updating his facebook status and tweeting to his accompliCE "done". He even took a snapshot of himself grinning using the victim's laptop.

    The incriminating evidence were used to track him down and put him in jail.

    Your Nutty Reporter.
    January 20, 2011 10:03 PM